Oh My Aching Heart

We have to let our children go.  Its a hard fact of life.  I have been suffering terrible separation anxiety this week over sending our son to Japan to work for one to two years.  He’s not a child, by any means.  He’s a 27 year old man who has been struggling since he graduated from college.   Like so many of his generation, a college degree doesn’t necessarily translate into a job.  He’s been searching for 2-1/2 years, applying and being turned down over and over again, all the while working at Wal-Mart.  He moved back home summer of 2014, not wanting to commit to another lease, hoping he would soon be finding a good job.

I have to keep reminding myself of all the nights he came home SO frustrated and angry from work, so unhappy, so depressed.  We have prayed and prayed for the Lord to open doors for him.  He got an ESL certification to teach English as a second language and that opened doors for interviews for him, but again, no job offers.  Just when he was thinking about looking for an apartment again and settling for any job he could find, he was offered a job in Japan, as an assistant English teacher in a middle school.  His initial contract is for one year with possible extension to two.

So after going through this emotional turmoil when he left for college (my husband had to remind me he wasn’t dead, just a 45 minute drive away), for some reason its just as hard or even harder this time.  Emotions are funny things.  I’ve been reminding myself that he needs this.  And he does!  He was in that awful spot between having the education but no experience.  This is a wonderful opportunity for him to get the experience he needs.  After waiting and praying for so long, the Lord just put everything into place:  paid airfare there and home when he is done at some point; a furnished apartment for which they subsidize  his rent; people meeting him at the airport in Tokyo and then at the train station in his work city.

He’s only been off the plane a few hours at this point, and I hope he is sleeping in his hotel room in Tokyo.  I’ll be better when he is able to contact us once he gets an Internet connection.  I’ll be even better when we can start Skyping.  But right now, I am still in physical pain – probably from lack of sleep more than anything – and tears come way too easily.

It helps to write it down, so thanks for letting me vent.  God is good!  He has a plan for my son’s life and this is just one step in the right direction.  Now, for my heart to make the adjustment.

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